What is an Elder?
First – there is a brilliance of women gathering that brings forward a deep knowing that opens heart and keys to life. Here is a summary of what was shared:
Where does the desire to be young come from? Perhaps it is a marketing thing – if people are always unsatisfied with themselves in someway they are easier to sell to and constantly sell to – in selling to keep people young is good for capitalism.
Our culture has a fear of deeper knowing, a fear of freedom and a fear of death – a fear of going inward and finding out what it means to be human.
There is a lack of elasticity in our culture and so we can remain siloed in our thinking and experiences of life. Excepting truths told to us.
We asked what was genius and what is elder and what does it mean to look for that in each of us.
We talked about the innate knowing of what it means to be ourselves and how some cultures have held onto that and the mainstream American culture doesn’t focus there – not the deeper wisdom of knowing yourself your quirks and the deep gravity of what it means to be you. And what it means to come into resolve with yourself.
We talked about how important it is for younger women to see the vitality and partake in the wisdom of what it means to be 50 or older and that the 50’s and 60’s are a peak time of coming into the fullness of your personal expression BECAUSE of the wisdom and experiences of your life.
Second – here are all of the Elder quotes we shared (I added a couple of new ones too):
(Sobonfu Some, Women’s Wisdom from the Heart of Africa, Chapter 2)
How would you give yourself the time to feel like you are stepping into elderhood?
Quotes from Wisdom of Africa by Malidoma Patrice Somé, pp. 126 - 138
Mastering the powers of an elder is a process that takes place slowly over years at the harsh school of life where the storms of trials and tribulations, of pain and suffering solidify and make sacred the mind, the body, and the soul of the person.
Elders, like the ancestors, are expected to identify an address what is not working in the village, not to give compliments and praise behavior. And this, they share with mentors the job of executing tasks forwarded to them by the ancestors.
Elders are responsible for inviting the genius out of a person. Once this genius is released, it requires maintenance, sustenance, and growth. The elder who holds the space within which this gift operates and encourages it with blessings and with silent nods. Without the mentor and the elder, the genius that is coming to birth in the community would have a hard time facing the storms of life.
Elders do not express energy, they hold it. When they speak, everybody listens.
The profile of an elder includes certain types of behavior and language that are quite visible and strictly followed. This is because age is related to powers that can become lethal when in the hands when in hand other than those of the old and wise. Among these is the power of blessing.
There is an elder in the making in everyone, but it is most visible in those who have the receptivity to listen to the stories of others. The ability to listen, and the willingness to support others in difficult situations, are the heart and soul of elderhood.
If people in the West embrace the idea that the elder is at the edge between two worlds, and is therefore a window to the other world, as well as a mirror of it, certain of the West social problems would be solved. One of them is the rejection of aging and the elders, which push the culture at risk. The other is the West’s relationship to the sacred.
If a culture rejects the sacred, it rejects elders. If it rejects elders, it rejects the welfare of its youth. You can’t have one without the other. It is understood in the village that youth and elders are the ones in society who see clearly what’s happening. The youth are at an age where the hidden is obvious to their eyes. They want to point it out because they do not know how to pretend it is not there.
People who wish to embrace their elderhood must first listen to the pain around them. They must notice in the young and the adult parts that are craving visibility. We must learn how to sit quietly with our youth and listen quietly to what they have to say. This is the job of elders. This calm, almost meditative. Approach to youth can also be a model for self-calming to other people who are too troubled to be quiet. Calmness is the beginning of the ability to hold space, the beginning of an elder’s contribution to the community.
Think about what would make you feel good to do as an elder?
Are there things that you have always wanted to do?
Create something. Invite your friends. Tell your life story.
Tell how you have brought your gift forward and how you are ready to be an elder in the community.
Ask people to invite the elder out of you. Because when you invite the wisdom out of someone – they understand their knowledge as wisdom.
Poetry Inspired by the night:
Seven Women by Laura Secord
Goddesses of the round table
speak
we are all elders of our own lives
blessing
guiding
overcoming
red candles white candles
circled in flame
shadows spoken
shadows eaten by
the dot-faced figure
in the corner
sorrows chewed on
and passed through
a tunnel into space
we are ever evolving
ever new
each step in life
grows new branches
and flowered crowns
Live the Questions Now by Rainer Maria Rilke (translated by Stephen Mitchell)
Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to your now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
